
I will NOT throw up on Barbara Lynch
I will NOT throw up on Barbara Lynch
It’s 3pm and I am lying shivering on my bathroom floor as I repeat this mantra over and over in my head. Only three hours to go until Taste of the South End.
I had been looking forward to going to the AIDS Action Committee-sponsored “Taste of the South End” all week. Lots of amazing food from lots of amazing chefs. Lots to write about. Pure bliss.
The day of the event, I woke up to greet the dawn of a wonderful day of eating, when I was hit HARD with a horrible case of irony. Within 30 minutes of waking up it was very clear that I had contracted some sort of virus that appeared to have picked up a Little Red Book somewhere and had decided to put on a Cultural Revolution of its own in my stomach.
Time passed and things got worse. This towering paragon of masculinity (that you know and love) was reduced to a shuttering, freezing heap on the bathroom floor–writhing in gastrointestinal agony.
My mother called to say hi, and when I responded with pained grunts, groans, and the mellifluous resonance of retching, she very kindly came over to my house, bringing along a pharmacopoeia of GI medicines as well as chicken soup. By the time she arrived I was at the point at which I truly regretted having removed Dr. Kevorkian from speed dial. Henceforth, I leave any further gory details of my condition to the vivid and enlightened imagination of the reader.
After eating my soup as best I could, and consuming about a gallon and a half of pepto, I was ready to thank my mother for her gentle kindness and crawl under the covers for and stay there forever. Instead of words of sympathy and a handful of Tylenol PM, my mother said, “No no no. You’re going to this thing! When you get going you’ll feel better. You have exactly 1 hour until it starts, so you have exactly one hour to feel better. You’ll really regret it if you miss this, and you’ll have a great time. Even if you just go for 20 minutes.”
With all the strength I could muster, I threw myself into the shower and tried to get better.
I will NOT throw up on Barbara Lynch
I will NOT throw up on Barbara Lynch
After crawling out of the tub. I was able to throw on some nice clothes and wend my way out to my mother’s car. She had offered to drive me there and get some dinner while I made the rounds. But, before I left my apartment I had to arm myself. So into my coat I stuffed a full bottle of stomach medicine and a trash bag for…um…airplane purposes.
The event itself was really wonderful. It was held in the Cyclorama, which is where I had my Keep Walkin’ Johnnie Walker Experience. I’d say there were at least 600 people there (including a group of very tall women in full majestic eveningwear, who I noticed all had adam’s apples) which created a really lively, fun atmosphere. The number of restaurants in attendance was very impressive and included many place that I had been dying to try, like Aquitaine, Mistral, The Butcher Shop, Pho Republic, and many others. There was also wine by Martignetti, an importer of fine wines.
All around the Cyclorama, there were long rows made up of tables with spreads of
Alas, I felt truly useless, akin to Moses, who traveled 40 years through the unrelenting desert only to get to the promised land and contract a stomach bug so he couldn’t eat any falafel when they arrived. I was surrounded by all this good food, good people, and good wine with a cursed and vengeful stomach.
As I was walking down the line (arsenal at the ready) someone shoved a cod cake in my hand. I looked at it and thought, “This cod cake is beautifully cooked with great presentation and I can tell it’s perfectly crunchy on the outside and moist in the middle. However, if I don’t get this out of my sight within 10 seconds I may just loose it.”
I was up to a few bites for tasting purposes, including the signature steak tartare from The Butcher Shop (owned by the aforementioned Barbara Lynch, who runs No. 9 Park, one of my favorite restaurants), which was really delicious. Also since chocolate is good for your stomach I allowed myself to try desserts, including an excellent profiterole from the Flour Bakery.
I really wanted to do a full restaurant by restaurant review of the food at this event–hell I wanted to a full restaurant by restaurant tasting of this event–but I just wasn’t physically up to it. But the event itself was really wonderful and everyone seemed to have a great time. I’m sure this event raised a lot of money for AIDS and I hope its success will encourage chefs to continue to interact with the community at large and to keep doing great benefits like this. But next time, they better damn well make sure I’m well before planning something
And no, I did not throw up on Barbara Lynch. I’m very proud of that.
Love you, mom!